Saturday, June 30, 2007

Is it good to say I love you?

Interesting. I was checking the statistical information about visitors to my Blog and I discovered that many people is coming to look for an article regarding "different ways to say I love you" I posted some months ago. So what is interesting about that?

The interesting thing is that I see many people is looking for "the concept of love", "creative ways of saying I love you" and even asking to Google for information about if "is it good to say I love you".
That kept me thinking for a good while. Actually I'm not the right person to answer that question but for sure I would like to express my opinion.

I see that many people created a strong feeling of responsibility to the phrase "I love you". So strong feeling that it's reason for the "listener" to feel like a new kind of compromise is ready to start after listening to it. That is truly something that captures my attention. In my case I prefer to say "I love you" when I feel it, not when I think it is appropriate; freely and with the intense wish to make the "listener" aware that someone is expressing something real from the heart.

Then, why is that strange responsibility on the back of that phrase? I think it is because the "listener" could be exposed to distress in case that "love" wasn't as expected.
In any case, in my experience the "listener" would always get into distress for a false expectation of what love means or what love should produce. And in many cases the most romantic moments of my life were when I was a young student or a young adult. Exactly when the concept of love is being built. That means, in my opinion, that it's impossible to try to add a sense of responsibility on the expression of love when it comes in moments when we are learning about our feelings. (I think I'm still learning about that... aren't you?)

So... Is it good to say I love you? in my opinion it is more than good. Of course assuming that is a sincere expression. Why is it good? because it gives you freedom and lets the other know that someone cares. The consequences can be many: from a new couple, to a broken one; but that is freedom, it lets you know how the reality looks like and helps you to decide your next step.

What about other kind of love? like expressing love to your friends, family members... I think that expressing feelings is one of the most powerful ways to make of your life something worth living. There a re many ways of expression. I like to say to Andre and Marko, my two sons, that I love them and sometimes they answer me in the same way :)

To my family I show them my love by being in contact constantly and by being interested on their normal activities and the development of their lives. Some times I surprise them with really little details. Sometimes I express my love in the incorrect way and it gives me some headaches as well!

Is it possible to hurt somebody by expressing sincere love? I think that yes. Because sometimes we feel something and then we can change our attitude and hurt. I think I don't know anybody that wasn't hurt because of love. Those hurts I think are part of the experience we all need to have; like that we learn what is realistic and what is some other thing. Thinking a bit deeper... just by the fact of expressing something we will have the unwanted chance to hurt somebody.

I really hope that all of us will learn to express more our love to the others and to the things we are doing. That would be a truly gooood new for this Blog!

Here some quotations from St. Thomas Aquinas:

  • “The things that we love tell us what we are.”

  • “Love takes up where knowledge leaves off.”

  • “Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath and a glass of wine”

You can go to Yahoo Answers and try to find something about the topic. I found something interesting: click here (It doesn't mean I agree with something there... just food for thought)


Matt said...

A very good post Jose, I have often thought the same thing about Love, and how often it is used.

My beliefs on the subject would likely make this comment as long as your post, so I will keep it simple as to leave some room for other commment lol

I think love is nothing more than a decision to put someone else above your own needs, desires and issues. A sacrifice really. Loving ones dog.. or ones spouse can be the same kind of love in my opinion because if you put someone else above you, if in fact you are willing to suffer to make someone else succeed, that is true love... in any relationship. I think when that is returned, then you truly have a great relationship be it friendship or romance. :)

Again.. awesome post thanks!

Matt said...

Hi Jose, I Nominated you for the "Bloggers for Positive Change" Award/Meme.

If you would like more info go to my blog for the details and info on how to get your award badge to display.

Keep up the great work!

Marj aka Thriver said...

I found your blog through Matt. You've got some great awareness-raising ideas here. I'm going to take a look around.

Jose Antonio said...

Matt! wow! Thanks a lot!
I was out of the blogging world for a week and coming back I receive such a great surprise! Thanks!

Jose Antonio said...

Hi Marj aka Thriver!
Thanks for your comment. I hope this Blog will help at least one person in the world to have a reason to smile and realize we live in a wonderful planet; I just came from enjoying part of it, in Denver! I see you live in Colorado :)